Facts, opinions, and the real story behind Mary Kay Cosmetics.

Mary Kay Drives a Wedge in Marriages

This story offers the point of view of a Mary Kay husband. While some may say that this schedule is temporary and will end once the wife is done with her Director In Qualification period, that is false. Sales directors are constantly “in DIQ,” always looking for new recruits while barely making minimum wage.

Let me first begin by saying I’m not the average guy. I do laundry, change diapers, clean, cook, do yard work, and I carry my own weight around the house. I am not one who expects my wife to do it all while I sit on my rear with the remote in hand.

With that said, MK is slowly driving a wedge.

I have stated on previous posts that right now, my wife is in DIQ. She works her, excuse me, their business (it’s not hers) about 5 or 6 days a week. On Saturday, our kids stayed with her parents so on Sunday, we went to church and went home. I thought, YAY! One day, no kids, how nice this is going to be! Boy was I wrong.

She got a phone call and was out the door. So there I am at home watching TV alone from about 2pm until about 7:30pm. Talk about a wedge???? Yes, it does drive a wedge.

For you naysayers who are saying, “what’s one day?” It’s not just one day. Saturday, she did facials from 10am until about 3pm and then again from 6pm until about 9pm. Friday, she did facials from 6pm until about 9:30pm. There could easily be some marital infidelity there if I wanted to but I choose to honor my vows and not disobey God.

When a husband doesn’t see his wife but 1 or 2 nights a week and when that same husband has to cook, clean, and keep the house and 3 kids going on a regular basis, it does indeed get lonely. Talk about needing some attention.

It’s just really sad to hear her say, “MK’s philosophy is God first, family second and career third when the past 2 months it’s been career 1st, career 2nd, career 3rd, God 2nd on Sundays from 9-10:30 and family? Who’s cares about family? My husband is at home with them.

So tonight, where will I be? I will be home with the 3 kiddos, cooking, cleaning and getting them ready for bed and for school/daycare tomorrow while she is driving the 6 hours to Dallas to hear 2 or 3 NSD’s give free training (far from free if you count the $20 registration fee and$100 in gas there and back).

I’m praying long and hard for a change. I do know if it continues, our marriage will become a part of the statistic. Sorry. I didn’t mean to go into a long, drawn out soap opera. It’s just very frustrating that this company is building wedges, not enriching lives as they claim they do!


  1. I’m sorry. You need to know that if she is listening to anything from nsd Pam Shaw about an unsupportive man in her life she will hear “Get. Rid. Of Him.”

    It won’t get any better. I wonder how much she is selling at these appointments she has managed to book and keep. Not that the sales makes it ok to keep putting business before husband and children.

    Praying she will see the truth. Soon.

  2. advertisingchick

    This saddens me.
    There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to save my marriage.
    I hope she realizes sooner rather than later the hamster wheel she is on. Good luck to you and your family.

  3. raisinberry

    Uh…kinda disagree. What drives the wedge is indirect communication, making assumptions and taking things personally.

    Husbands, you have every right to declare your displeasure. You have every right to communicate directly and firmly as to how you feel, and you have every right to point out that before Mary Kay, your voice would not have been discounted.

    Being a victim of Mary Kay indoctrination need not extend to you. It happens when a husband closes his mouth, ignores the obvious, sulks, becomes resentful or manipulative. If she doesn’t know you’ve had it, who’s fault is that? Can’t blame Mary Kay.

    Acting like a victim is the fastest way to being treated like one. Stand up for yourself, your family and for the wife you used to know…she is only temporarily brainwashed, as we can attest.

  4. Dre

    I understand the feelings of Tracy because my husband is going to be a 2nd year medical student this year. While one spouse is away most the day, and leaving most of the house and errand duties to the left behind, plus on top of that you might work or go to school. Even when they are home they are too tired etc. to help out. It’s frustrating, which is an understatement, as well as unbalanced. Any relationship can become easily strained especially when children are added to the equation. In MK it’s no different, but far worse. If a person or family can’t find balance or learn to say no, then they are dooming themselves. I believe that people need to be more forgiving of others, but not be stepped on, learn to act instead of react, live within their means, and use the golden rule to have a fulfilling life.

    MK is in violation of my own personal standards, so I’m doing the product re-purchase. It took me nearly a year to realize what I wanted, but I’m ok where I’m at now. I got into MK because I love makeup (mostly high-end like what sells at Sephora, Nordstrom, Macy’s or Ulta), not to make money. Overall, to me, MK was a big joke. Don’t be the person who continually gets sucked under, whether it’s you or your spouse. Someone always pays in the end. You.

    1. Lazy Gardens

      my husband is going to be a 2nd year medical student this year

      With that, there is a time limit. Med school has a start and a finish.

      With Mary Kay for directors and those trying to be director it’s a never-ending treadmill of searching for the next recruit, begging for more orders, racing to the finish line every seminar year.

      And always with the possibility of failing to make production and losing the unit, no matter how long they have been a director.

  5. MLM Radar Detector

    “…she is driving the 6 hours to Dallas to hear 2 or 3 NSD’s give free training (far from free if you count the $20 registration fee and$100 in gas there and back).”

    Over a dozen years ago, when my company wanted to offer training from a remote location we stayed where we were and participated in a video conference. Back then you had to have dedicated equipment to broadcast, but MK corporate certainly had enough money to make it happen if they wanted to.

    Now anyone can run video conferences on webcam-equipped PCs which plug right up to big-screen TVs. So any MK office, no matter how cash-strapped, could still participate if the event was being broadcast.

    Question: Why is she driving all the way to Dallas? Why isn’t this training broadcast into a local Director’s office?

    Is there something magically inspiring about being in the live presence of genuine NSDs which is supposed to jump-start your MK business when nothing else will work? Does six hours travel time to an official MK event just somehow feel like productive activity (even though it’s not)? Or is this a case of being isolated in a car with other MK DIQs for six hours of mutual “no negativity” reinforcement?

    (I think I just answered my own question.)

  6. L

    Mary Kay destroyed my marriage. Supposedly my xwife would eventually become a National Sales Director and I could retire. Instead there was $125,000 of unexplained credit card debt that was driven by Mary Kay business expenses.

    I have met Pam Shaw. Now the xwife is listed as a Senior Sales Director and supposedly only make $5,200 per year. If that is how much you can make after being in Mary Kay for 30 years why bother.

  7. M Lillian

    Yup, I credit Mary Kay with the destruction of my first marriage. I didn’t have time for my first husband or for our home. I worked a full time 40 hour a week job then tried to follow the pink dream/nightmare. It drove first husband to drink, drugs and the arms of another woman, and into abusive behavior. What did MK get for me? Domestic violence, divorce and a nice load of debt.
    Yeah, great opportunity, huh?

  8. Mksis

    Without putting the obvious out there, I’m so disheartened by the fact that this “business” is fooling so many women into thinking that there is a snowball’s chance in hell of them making a better living than a regular 9-5 job. Is it the meetings? Is it empty promises? Or are you people just not thinking clearly?

    It just doesnt make sense to me that you would leave a stable job with good benefits to sell make up. If it was that easy, everyone would do it and there wouldn’t be so much turnover.

    A family member of mine has worked so hard at this that it has driven a wedge between her and her husband (not to mention the majority of the rest of the family) and she’s quit her job teaching in a good district and spent thousands on product. It’s also caused her slight inclination toward depression to full blown mania at times. But as much as we encourage her to take some time for herself, she can’t seem to quit thinking about her business. I don’t know what can be done, but I’m afraid that MK has ruined her life.

  9. mad as Hell

    I am in the middle of a messy divorce caused by Mk thinking.
    They told my wife that anyone or anything that questions Mk should be removed from her life.
    My wife has been trying to make director for 16 months. Recelenty I found out if you by enough products they will let you do or be whatever.
    My wifes senior directors husband own the second largest corp. in Utah.
    Her pink suv cady was earned by her buying Hugh amounts of products , not by reciting like they tell you.
    Look for yourself. It is a scary group to belong to.

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