Scripts & Training

Déjà Spew: We Attract, Not Attack!

 Written by The Scribbler

Next up on That’s Incredible:  NSDs who tell it like it is!  Let’s listen in as NSD Nancy Moser schools her units regarding proper behavior at unit meetings.  It’s fresh, it’s with-it, and now comes with 150% more cold hard reality!

“Because this is our home away from home, our desire is to build a professional and caring image amongst the other tenants.  Please do not “warm-chatter” every person in these offices.  We want them to see us as professional, nice women, not 40-50 people asking them to have a free facial or hear about our career…we need to respect these people…thank you for your high integrity and image to make others feel comfortable around us.  We attract, we do not attack.”

As they say in more refined circles, “Boy howdy, Sydney Jo; let’s pluck us some logic off this pink yard bird and fry th’ sucker up!” (And if it’s State Fair time in your neck of the woods, put that puppy on a stick, too!)

NSD Moser is straying into dangerously (and refreshingly) “negative” territory by stating the obvious:  Cornering women with the line, “You owe it to yourself to at least hear the facts!” is about as professional as those very special student/teacher “tutoring sessions” we keep hearing about on Fox News.  Call me nuttier than a sack of trail mix, but the steamiest things I ever encountered in high school were the cafeteria’s tater tots.  And that’s only if I hooked up lunch lady Doris with a current copy of Soap Opera Digest.  Don’t try to be slick, Chief; a lesser bribe’ll land you shivery spuds.  Doris plays hardball when it comes to her stories.

Of particular interest is Moser’s use of the phrases, “we need to respect these people” and “make others feel comfortable around us.”  Her verbiage implies that the only way to respect women and put them at ease is to not engage them in warm-chatter!  What troubles me is the fact that once Moser’s units leave the safe area, all that practical guidance is going to circle the bowl the second Director Nadamoolah checks her e-mail and finds one of these gems:

“Were you conscious about adding 10+ new Agreements?  Did you press through to a win or give in with a sigh?” (NSD Pam Shaw’s “Director Strategy Checklist”)

 “If there is a “no” to an appointment, then ask for outside orders.  If “no”, ask her to be a model.  If “no”, ask her to fill out a marketing survey RIGHT NOW!  After two attempts at calling her, send her an e-mail…” (“Fill Your Datebook!” by NSD Gloria Mayfield-Banks)

 “After 4-5 days, when you’ve tried reaching the prospect at several different times of the day and have left one message, leave another message and say, “…Give me a quick call to let me know you still want to be pampered…by the way, I’ll likely try you back until we connect!” (Director training document, “Why Doesn’t She Answer Her Phone?”)

I don’t know about you, but the only thing those methods are going to attract are roundhouse kicks to the face.  Can we all agree that there’s nothing attractive about NSD Shaw’s advice to “press through to a win” in one’s recruiting interviews?  No mincemeat here, friends:  that’s an attack, pure and simple.

So what happens if you take this vile guidance and repeatedly dip it in syrupy sentiments like, “You are not at this event by accident, but by design,” “Do you have a giant inside you, screaming to get out?” and “Couldn’t you get excited about seeing the rosebud within you bloom and grow?”  Will it still look like an attack?

On the contrary; after all that sugaring, you now have a “product” that looks quite different than what you started with; you now have a sweet, sticky pink lolly with a dark fecal center.  An attractive attack.

Is there any reason why you won’t have a lick?  I’m in a contest and I just need your opinion…



  1. These techniques are beyond obnoxious, and are actually counter-productive, because all they do is show desperation. If someone has said “NO,” and said it more than once or twice, your continued pursuit of them shows you don’t have a successful business at all.

    If you really want to attract someone to your life, you have to act as though you are entirely successful and content with or without them. It’s a little like playing hard-to-get when you want that boy in high school to ask you out.

    Want a team in Mary Kay? Your prospects should see your inner confidence and happiness, marvel at your never-ending stream of skin care class appointments, see you deposit wads of cash into your bank account, witness your quality time with your family, and take a ride in your copay-free Cadillac.

    Oh, wait . . .

  2. The desperation made us ALL look so badly! Seeing a Consultant setting up a card table in the mall to hand out business cards and samples made my skin crawl. And, isn’t it considered harassment when you continue pursuing someone after they’ve said “no”? It doesn’t mean “not now” like we were taught! If MK is so successful, you wouldn’t have the time to devote so much attention on those doing little or nothing.

  3. Gee Nancy, you don’t want your unit to warm-chatter your fellow tenants but its perfectly okay to stalk them at the store, school, park, bank, restaurant, gas station, church, doctor’s office, hospital, chemo ward, funeral home, etc?

    The only image you care about is your monthly commission.

    • It’s probably a condition of her meeting space lease that she leave the other building tenants alone. That’s the “quiet enjoyment” lease clause. But the Director has to put a positive spin on everything so she chides her team to “act professional” because she can’t say “this building is my territory.”

      You see, it’s perfectly OK to prowl other business properties looking for recruits and customers until you get thrown out. Just don’t do anything that would cause the Director’s landlord to have second thoughts.

      It also just wouldn’t do to have a non-stop string of newly-minted Mary Kay ladies, a new face every month, each trying to recruit Rachel Receptionist and Paula Paralegal from the law offices on the 3rd floor. You remember Rachel and Paula, right? They’re the ladies who’ve been the lawyer’s assistants for the past 5 years. Doesn’t look good for the Mary Kay reputation if the Director can’t ever keep her own sales force in place for more than a few months.

    • That Kaybots will stalk people in chemo wards and funeral homes in search of victims *ahem* recruits is something that continues to bug me to this day, many months after I first learned of it

  4. While I have never joined Mary Kay, I’m very grateful for this site! I’ve been warm chatted three times in my life. The first time, I just got off easy, claiming allergies prevented me from accepting a facial. The third time was just recently. I took the woman’s card without providing any of my info (I’m paranoid), but I thought about it. I was looking for a way to meet new friends and develop a hobby outside the house. I work a very intense corporate job that I love, but it can be stressful! What harm could it do to make a little money at the same time? I got online to do a little research, and found this site. So, thanks for the reality check, no Mary Kay for me.
    I’m getting long winded here, but I wanted to share the second time I was warm chatted with you all, both as a cautionary tale and a great way to escape the stalkers!! I was at just about the lowest point in my life when a well dressed woman approached me at Target. She told me I was “sharp” and flattered me to death. Like I said, I was at a low point, and frankly, I would have given her my right arm after the compliments. Sensing my vulnerability, she pounced: “I have a job opportunity you might be interested in. How would you like to be your own boss?” And here’s the reply I offer for public use, which was given honestly from me: “Oh, not at all. I’ve been working for myself for 3 years and I just want a regular job, 8-5 with a boss I can complain about and no work on the weekends. Do you have any more traditional opportunities available? I have a résumé!” I’ve never seen someone look so bewildered in my life. She said I should come to a conference with her to see what might be available, and I said “Great! So there will be people in other departments there? Like, not sales? I’m not interested in sales.” She said she’d call me with the details, but never did.
    So, there you have it. Chase away the chatter with a preference for the one thing they can’t pretend to provide. Thanks again to everyone here for your commitment to truth and protecting others, it’s working!!

    • Best reply to “the offer” I’ve EVER heard!!!!!

      Here’s the reply I offer for public use, which was given honestly from me: “Oh, not at all. I’ve been working for myself for 3 years and I just want a regular job, 8-5 with a boss I can complain about and no work on the weekends. Do you have any more traditional opportunities available? I have a résumé!”

  5. My ex best friend disappeared into the MK pink fog about 18 months ago. I received a call from her 2 years ago, to let me know she was trying to make extra money. Would I please come to her first facial party. The day was on my wedding anniversary.. 20 years. She begged and begged.. Said it would only take an hour. 3 hours later, I signed and paid for my starter kit…just so I could get the hell out of there. In the days to follow, my SD called me non stop to schedule coffee. Just so happens, I had just found out my son had to have brain surgery, and this wasn’t the time. Naturally, she had an answer for that, “this is the Perfect time to dig in and work on you business. Do it for your son”. I was literally sick to my stomach. I never placed an order. 3 months later, my ex friend announced she was leaving her full time job to devote her life to MK. She left her dream job with the federal government. Before she was a K BOT, she was always known as a wonderful, kind, Christian woman around town. She’s ruined her once close relationship with her church, and has alienated all of her close friends. The most shocking part has been to see her pimp her kids out for sales.. “Help me show them that hard work really does pay off”, “please help me make my goal so I can give my children a nice Christmas”, etc. You all know the rest. I used to love reading the electronic Applause magazine, because I am nosey.. And like to keep up with all of these “amazing” achievements. Tried my consultant number, but it is now invalid. Dang! I can only pray she will find her way out of the fog soon. She is a red jacket, but just can’t get to DIQ. I have no idea how she is supporting her 3 kids, as she is a single mother. $60,000/yr. Federal job, to MK. I can’t do anything but shake my head. Friends have asked why I just don’t talk to her. All I can do is LAUGH. Unless you experience the MK cult first hand, you would never understand.. Thanks for this site. I couldn’t believe after all of out years of friendship, she would use MK scripts on me. Sorry for the rambling, it’s very early. If anyone knows how I can look at Applause, please let me know. Thanks, everyone.

    • You can Google it, but here’s also a link to one:

      As for your friend and how she’s supporting her kids while not even making it to Director yet, I’d bet she’s maxing her credit cards and/or using her savings or retirement to fund herself.

      I can attest that the fog is very, very thick in that we all were taught and then DID so many things we’re now embarrassed of. I’ve seen people use their kids, illnesses like cancer, and even deaths as an excuse to get in front of people.

      Since I resigned, I lost all of the friends, or so they called themselves, I’d made in over 10 years of being a Director. I had NSDs that vanished, and I heard stories circulating as to where I went and why. It’s funny how it works out because those very same people who wouldn’t acknowledge the truth of what’s happening company-wide are the very ones in the exact same place they were when I left. Meanwhile, I now have health insurance, dental, vision, 401K, paid sick days, paid holidays, and weeks of paid vacation without sacrificing my friendships or morals.

      Resigning was the BestDecision I’ve ever made!

    • “The most shocking part has been to see her pimp her kids out for sales.. “Help me show them that quitting a good job and hard work begging really does pay off”

      Fixed it for her

  6. “I’ve seen people use their kids, illnesses like cancer, and even deaths”

    They are even using GoFundMe to raise money to buy inventory and attend seminar. This one is on GFM right now:

    Hi everyone. My name is ______. I am a Mary-Kay Independent Beauty Consultant. I am trying to raise money so that I can attend the Mary-Kay Seminar on July 27-30 in Dallas, TX. As a new consultant this will be my first time going. I would love to go because this is a wonderful opportunity to grow, learn, and impact my business in an incredible way. Seminar signs up have already began and I need to sign up and pay before July 1st. Would you consider donating some funds? This will help cover flight, hotel, and seminar cost. Thank you so much for helping me go achieve this goal!

    • This has to be one of the most repulsive MK stints I have heard in awhile.
      Using GOFundMe to raise money for inventory and attend seminar?!
      Probably suggested by their SD/NSD. Pure evil.

  7. Hi
    Actually I’m a Mary Kay Consultant so I will hide my identity. I’m in Montreal Canada and I’m starting to hate my Director​, she’s a Mary Kay Zombie all is Mary Kay and how the Enterprise is amazing. When I got to enter in the MK “family” it was only to paid me a honest salary but the thru is that if you don’t have any contact you’ll fail. She made me believe that is was possible to make Mary Kay without​ having a network. And any of that charming scripts will work because they are pushy, sticky people have a lot of ways of saying “no” not only with their mouth but with acts. If the victim don’t answer the phone in the first 2 contacts and she even answered you back in those 2 times your tried is because she doesn’t want! It’s obvious so if possible really wants to sell Mary Shit stop acting like desperate zombies! A salesperson should be combined with the entrepreneur qualities to sell anything she wants.

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