Written by Raisinberry
The “Devil’s Advocate” sets the record straight…in the words of Mary Kay Cosmetics…
You Pink Truth-ers have sure had some rough times. And we appreciate all you have been through. It saddens us to see just how out of hand things have gotten, but it is really not our fault.
We exist to provide a vehicle that provides jobs for all the people in Dallas, and everywhere we have a distribution center, along with our vendors, along with our manufacturing staff and facilities that ultimately provide you with commission. We really don’t see what the problem is. It’s simple math, ladies. You buy for $1 and sell for $2. How hard can this be?
Mary Kay held a pretty firm grip on the company, but she trained the National Sales Directors. She wrote a few books, she left her principles in tact. Is it our job to make sure you sales people don’t abuse each other?
Look, we never printed any of those scripts you throw around.. and we don’t support any prize programs other than what is generated at corporate. We even put a ceiling on how much you can contribute to your own car production and Queen’s Court in the last month! What more do you want from us?
Do you have any idea how much work it is to take in returns, count it up, process it, and cut checks? At least you can get a refund! You aren’t being fair. Corporate is just making your product and providing you with motivation and inspiration, along with research and development along with sales support and this is how you repay us?
If you are ticked at the NSDs and directors, you need to be talking directly to them, because frankly we have our hands full developing newer markets overseas. These will be places where women will be grateful for all we do for them and happy to have great products to sell. We just aren’t responsible for any misstatements, false claims, broken promises, sales force manipulation, and DEBT that you put yourself in because you didn’t want to be embarrassed, couldn’t say no, lacked the fortitude to hold your ground and make real business decisions for yourself, and worse, you didn’t want to consistently work and do what it takes to sell retail.
It takes a lot ladies. How in the world could you think you could work 10 hours a week and make a good living? (We never told anyone to tell you that you could work part time hours for executive pay!) Who told you that we had an 80% brand loyalty? Why should you expect to be able to keep a car if your production falls short month after and month? We still have to pay for it! Ever think of that?
No, you made your own bed and we have very little to do with it. Nationals are Independent Contractors and we invite them to Dallas to counsel with us, but we pretty much just exist to make them happy. After all, without them cracking those velvet whips, we would be out of our jobs. Heck many of them don’t even like each other, so how are we supposed to rein ’em in?
So look, we hope you understand, we simply have our hands tied and we’ll try to check in from time to time to see if anybody has a good idea about how to run this company better, but I doubt much will change. We are just cogs in the wheel, churning out products, paper, research, P.R. and tech support so you have a chance to do something good with it. Sales training just isn’t our department.
And if you choose to be stupid enough to order more product than you’ll ever sell, or believe that woman who gets her commission off your order, or allow yourself to be bullied into going to a national event you can’t afford, well don’t blame us! It’s not our fault. We’ve got 600,000 unskilled salespeople/consumers out there attempting to sell at church bazaars, make their own peripheral products, trying to advertise in their local papers, selling on ebay or at their own sales meetings and its just a nightmare! Give us a break! Didn’t any of you read your contract?
So why not just have a little consideration for all the good we do and are trying to do to make your sales job easier, and BEE-LIEVE once again in the Mary Kay opportunity? If you don’t like your sales director, then why not step up to the plate and become a better one? If you think your NSD is self serving, then why don’t YOU go up the career path and make some changes?
We all know Mary Kay works when you do! And you know you’d make a great director! You might be the only Mary Kay our sales force will ever see! We sure could use your help. The Mary Kay way is the best way. And you deserve to walk out on that stage for your commitment to excellence! The same sales force lies are told over and over because you haven’t promoted yourself to management.
Truth hurts, ladies… and you know I am all about truth.
Fantastic satire, Raisinberry. The condescending tone, the buzzwords, the fake sympathy, the victim blaming… just like a fluffy pink teddy bear studded with upholstery needles.
“fluffy pink teddy bear studded with upholstery needles.”
You owe me a coffee, Popinki, I just spit mine out!! Hilarious! And accurate. I can’t remember a better description of how MK makes a person feel.
Nice work, Raisinberry. But beware, much better and we may have to exile you to Fridays. 😉
Mary Kay provides jobs for “all the people in Dallas”? Wow, I never knew that everybody in Dallas worked for Mary Kay. Amazing. I thought there were a few other companies there along with a military base or two, but what do I know.